7 Things to Say to Your Child Before Their First Play Therapy Session
Starting play therapy can be a powerful and healing step for your child. But let’s be honest—it can also bring up questions, worries, or even resistance. Not just from your child, but from you, too.
You may wonder:
How much should I tell them?
Will they be scared or confused?
How can I explain this in a way that helps, not overwhelms them?
This blog is here to help.
You don’t need the “perfect script.” You just need a calm, honest, and supportive approach. Below are seven phrases that can prepare your child emotionally, reduce anxiety, and help them feel safe as they begin their therapy journey.
💬 1. “We’re going to Play Therapy—a playroom where you get to make sense of things that feel tricky.”
This simple statement gives your child clear information without overwhelming detail. It also:
Names the experience directly (Play Therapy)
Explains its purpose (to help make sense of tricky things)
Frames it in a way that respects their inner world
Avoiding vague phrases like “a special place” helps reduce confusion or suspicion, especially for children who are sensitive or have experienced past instability.
🧠 Why it works: Kids feel safer when they know what to expect. Framing therapy around exploration and understanding, not correction or fixing encourages openness and emotional readiness.
💬 2. “The person you’ll see is called a Play Therapist. They’re there to help you.”
Introduce the therapist as a person with a role, just like a teacher or doctor, but focused on emotional well-being. Depending on your child’s age, you might add:
“They’re someone who understands how kids feel and how play helps.”
“You’ll get to know them slowly, and they’ll never force you to talk.”
Many children find comfort in seeing what’s coming, ask your therapist for photos of themselves and the playroom so that children have a sense of familiarity.
🧠 Why it works: Children often fear unfamiliar adults. Naming the role and purpose clearly can reduce wariness and build a foundation of trust.
💬 3. “You can choose what you want to play with or talk about.”
This is one of the most important messages you can give your child before therapy.
Let them know they won’t be quizzed, pressured, or made to talk about things they’re not ready for. They’ll have the freedom to choose toys, games, or activities, and the freedom not to talk if they don’t want to.
This aligns with the philosophy of Child-Centered Play Therapy, which honors the child’s autonomy and pace.
🧠 Why it works: Choice empowers children. When they know they have control over what happens in the room, they’re more likely to engage authentically.
💬 4. “There are no right or wrong ways to play.”
Perfectionistic kids or those who’ve been frequently corrected may enter the therapy space with invisible pressure: Am I doing this right?
Reassure them that in play therapy, they can be silly, serious, loud, quiet, messy, or creative, it can feel easy or hard. There are no grades or gold stars, just space to be exactly who they are.
You might add:
“You may play with any of the things in almost any way that you like.” (this is a consistent phrase to what your therapist will use)
“The therapist will understand your play in a way that helps them support you.”
🧠 Why it works: Reduces anxiety around performance. Encourages authenticity and expression, which is the whole point of therapeutic play.
💬 5. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Children often worry that therapy = talking. But for play therapy models especially with younger children play is the language, there’s no pressure on children to perform or do anything they don’t want to.
Let them know:
“You can play the whole time if you want.”
“Sometimes kids talk, sometimes they don’t, both are okay in Play Therapy.”
This phrase also helps parents reminding them that silence or “just playing” is not a sign that therapy isn’t working. Progress often happens quietly and symbolically.
🧠 Why it works: Removes the pressure of verbal expression. Children learn they can show how they feel through action, metaphor, and imagination.
💬 6. “I don’t have to be in the room, I’ll be nearby and I’ll come back when you’re finished.”
This helps children to know that there’s no right or wrong. Initially your child may feel more comfortable with you in the room, particularly if your child is used to you being close by, separation may feel uncomfortable at first. At Secure Foundations we will work with you to transition out of the room in a way that feels comfortable for everyone. Let them know:
Where you’ll be
That you’ll be waiting for when they finish session
That they’re welcome to come and check you’re still there
That the therapist will keep them safe
🧠 Why it works: Predictability builds security. Knowing who will be there and where, can soothe separation anxiety and help your child regulate.
💬 7. “This is a time and place just for you.”
It helps your child feel that play therapy is theirs, not something they’re being dragged to or forced into. They have ownership over the time spent in play therapy and agency over what they choose to do, without performance.
You could also say:
“Lots of kids go to Play Therapy. Everyone goes for different reasons.”
“This is your time. You get to use it however you need.”
🧠 Why it works: It builds a sense of ownership and trust. Children begin to understand that therapy is not about being fixed—it’s about being heard.
What Not to Say:
Even with good intentions, some phrases can add confusion, shame, or resistance. Here are a few to avoid (and why):
“You’re going to learn to behave better.”
This implies your child is bad or broken. It frames therapy as punishment and puts an inappropriate pressure on the child to change. You may notice that behaviours do change through play therapy, but this happens when children are able to work through their challenges and are more equipped to choose a different behaviour.“Be good for the therapist.”
I hold unconditional positive regard for every child and their family, I have a deep belief that all are inherently good and doing the best that they can with the resources they have. Children are welcome in my space exactly as they are, there’s no pressure to perform or to be anything other than themselves.“They’ll fix your attitude.”
As a play therapist, I’m not here to fix or change your child at all. I’m here to help them make sense of why things feel tricky for them and empower them to choose more adaptive behaviours that are safe, whilst also authentic for them. Trying to ‘fix’ children suggests that there is something inherently wrong with them and can damage their self esteem.
Instead, focus on words like support, understand, explore, or make sense of things. These phrases reflect what therapy is actually about, and help your child approach it with empowerment, not fear.
What the Research Says
Preparing your child for therapy isn’t just about logistics, it has emotional and therapeutic impact, too.
“The way parents frame therapy before the first session can influence a child’s sense of safety, openness, and alliance with the therapist.”
— APT, 2023 Clinical Practice Notes
Research also shows that when children feel informed and included, they’re more likely to engage meaningfully and show long-term progress.
Even simple statements like, “You get to decide what to do or play with,” can create a sense of agency that increases trust and reduces anxiety.
Final Thoughts: You’re Already Helping
If you’re reading this blog, it means you care deeply about your child’s emotional wellbeing, and you’re doing the brave, vulnerable work of helping them feel safe in this new process.
There’s no perfect script. But your calm presence, your thoughtful words, and your willingness to prepare and empower your child in this process can make all the difference.
And remember: the healing doesn’t start in the therapy room—it starts with you.
Need More Support?
If you’re preparing your child for their first play therapy session and have questions, please feel free to reach out for more help.
You’re not alone in this, and neither is your child.
