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I feel passionately about you knowing this.
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Parenting is hard.
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Navigating sleep is challenging.
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Tantrums are tricky.
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Big emotions can be overwhelming.
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I asked a poll on my stories yesterday about what you struggle with when it comes to setting limits.
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Overwhelmingly, the response was:
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- The tantrums when you hold a limit
- The lack of energy required to hold boundaries when you're exhausted/caring for a newborn
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I want you to know that giving in isn't giving up.
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Whether you're working towards dropping night feeds.
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Or you want to reduce screen time in the house.
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Wanting to limit snacks.
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Some days you can only do what you can do with the resources you have at the time.
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The sun will come up tomorrow and we can try again.
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Long term change is possible without having to get every moment 'right'.
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If this resonates with you, share it to your stories and tag ya pals. 💛💛💛
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P.s New e-book "how to set effective limits with confidence" coming soon 🙌💥

Erm no.
It’s a big fat no.
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You absolutely cannot spoil a baby by being responsive to their cries.
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Do I think we should be responsive to a baby’s cries? Absolutely. We’re wired to be.
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Babies learn to be self reliant through repeated experiences of relying on others.
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The goal with crying, though, is to focus on the need not rush to stop the crying. I think when we can be mindful of this we’re much more likely to be able to practise attuning to the baby and what they’re trying to communicate in that moment.
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Quite often, especially with younger babies or actually even with toddlers is that we get so fixated on crying being ‘bad’ or something being ‘wrong’ that we try to fix or rescue them and miss what they’re communicating. This can lead to over stimulation in babies and can lead to denying toddlers the opportunity to practise some self regulation and experience hard feelings.
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I feel like this is a topic for a thesis not an IG post 🤣 but the point I want to make it is that we should respond to crying in small humans but more important than responding to crying is responding to needs.
We can never ever spoil a baby by meeting their needs 💛💛

Secondary to this, and the bit that’s rarely spoken about is that you won’t break them if you can’t respond to every cry either. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

There is nothing more alarming than the sound of a

There is nothing more alarming than the sound of a crying baby. 🚨
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It’s supposed to be that way. Their survival depends on us, we’re wired to jump and rush to crying babies. 💛
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They key here though, is to take a moment and respond with intention and logic and not react, pulling out all the tricks in the book.
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When you respond to a crying baby, the goal is to identify and meet the need not make the crying stop. 🙌
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Crying is communication, it isn’t bad.
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Babies are supposed to cry and they cry for LOTS of reasons. 🙈
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The reason I make this distinction is because identifying the need helps you to be able to attune to your babies needs. When you can respond with logic it’s much easier to work out what they’re communicating.
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In the early weeks and months they’re often communicating that they’re overstimulated, over tired and over wired. Knowing this can help you to help them calm enough to feel safe enough to go to sleep without feeling the need to pull out all the sleep stops which can sometimes further over stimulate them.
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All of these suggestions help calm your babes central nervous system so that they are able to turn on their resting system 🥰🥰
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Who here is the newborn days?

I know. Shock. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You sp

I know. Shock.
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You spend alllll this time getting the baby to sleep and we know that sleep is SO important for lots of health and growth reasons.
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Seems crazy.
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If all is well, your nights are settled and your baby is gaining weight well then sure. Do not wake the baby 🤣
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But, there are some reasons that I would recommend waking a sleeping baby. Swipe to see what they are.
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✋If your little's ones first nap is impacting their second nap which is either causing it to be too short or too late which is impacting your nights then the first nap may need to be shortened.
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✋If your babe is partying hard at night and sleeping all day, they, too may benefit from a nudge to get their circadian rhythm adjusted.
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✋If their growth is a little slow, they're very young and they need more feeds in the day then they also may need some daytime rousing.
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✋If your toddie lurves a midday snooze and it's robbing them of hours of night time slumber then they may also need to be woken to preserve night time sleep.
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❓Have you ever woken a sleeping baby? 🙊🙊 Feels awful I know but we're in the game of doing what's best for babe and sometimes that is to disturb the slumber. 💛

Important? Yes, absolutely. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Important? Yes, absolutely.
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These are all important social skills that we hope all of our little humans will learn at some point.
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At a time that they are developmentally capable.
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See, most toddies and pre-schoolers may start to grasp the idea of some of these social skills as early as infancy but they won't be able to consistently demonstrate these skills until, maybe, 5 and will likely still need some scaffolding (help from you) until this time.
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How to encourage social skills?
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- Role modelling, don't forget to treat your small humans as a human. Share with them, listen to them, use your manners, get on their level and respect their personal space.
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- Teach them to ask for "space please" "stop" "no more" and respect them when they use this with you.
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- Don't force manners, sharing, eye contact as this can have the opposite effect and make them ingenuine.
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- Scaffold these skills. Your toddler: "I want some milk" "You want some milk buddy? Milk please mum" - then give them some milk.
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Remember: little people learn through repetition when they are calm, relaxed and well regulated. Forcing any of these skills can dysregulate their nervous systems - no learning happens there.
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Don't forget to save this post or tag ya gal pals who're in the parenting trenches with you!
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What questions do you have about social skills?

Are you struggling with getting your child to co-o

Are you struggling with getting your child to co-operate?
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At bath time? Getting dressed time? Shoes on time? Dinner time? Getting in the car time? Bedtime?
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Every, Single, F'ing time?
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Does it always end in a battle? Someone kicking and screaming and the other one crying? 😪
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There's always two ways to handle it:
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- Coercion - of course, you'll get them doing that dang thing eventually. You're bigger and stronger and if you commit yourself to being the 'winner' you will be.
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- Connection - at the very basics of every human being they want to know that they are important and that they are seen. When you side together and commit to win/win situations, you both win and you stand a much better chance of gaining more cooperation in the future.
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Try to start seeing your tiny human as a real person, with real feelings and a real need for connection. Meet that need for connection and the co-operation will follow.
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"I get that moving away from play is hard for you. You were having such a fun time."
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"It sucks when we can't have our first choice for breakfast."
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"Putting on shoes can be so tricky, you let me know if you need some help."
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"When you've had a bath then it will be time for a book. I love reading books to you."
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In one of my parent coaching calls recently we were talking about different ways to respond to behaviours and it boiled down to this:
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"It would be a richer return on your investment to parent for a long term relationship than short term compliance." 🙊
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I know that battles for breakfast don't taste good for anyone, I know that this isn't easy. How would your days be different if you had more co-operation?
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💛

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